Merlin's Protector
by Stephy-Lou Clark-Weasley
Summary: sequel to Merlin's Carrier! an AU not really opening to the second part of Darkest Hour where the three idiots fight over who gets to protect Merlin while bringing him home to Camelot preferbly sometime before he dies!


**Author's Note: **sequel to Merlin's Carrier! Keep an eye out for the sequel to this which will be called Merlin's Lancelot, please review!

Merlin felt himself being strapped to a horse.

Well sort of, being frozen to near death sort of numbed your senses, but he certainly saw brown horse fur before he slowly turned his face to look at Arthur who looked rather blurry actually. "Take me with you," he pleaded. If he was sent back to Camelot he wouldn't be able to protect Arthur and the knights from the latest danger and then what will he do with his favourite idiots dead?

"No it is too dangerous you must go back to Camelot," Arthur said firmly.

"Your Highness we can't go back we need to continue on and stop this before it's too late!" Leon protested.

"I'll go and protect Merlin," Gwaine said quickly, "I'm the best swordsman!"

"You? _The best swordsman?" _Arthur cried out incredulously.

"You only want to protect your good looks," Lancelot snorted.

"Ah so you admit that I'm the best good-looking swordsman in all of Albion!" Gwaine cried out clearly delighted with how the argument was going.

"NO!" all the knights shouted.

"I am the best swordsman and I'm also the best looking therefore technically I should be protecting Merlin while taking him home!" Arthur shouted his cheeks flushing a bright red. "It is only because I have a duty to my people that I must go on and leave him behind!"

"So you're obviously too divided to be Merlin's protector while I don't really give a damn about anyone but Merlin therefore I would be the perfect protector for him!" Gwaine argued.

"Yeah," Lancelot snorted, "until you look at your reflection and get distracted by how messy your hair is and leave him to die."

"My hair is messy?" Gwaine yelped kind of proving Lancelot's point.

"I am more than a capable swordsman as well as kind of handsome going by what Gwen says-"

"Gwen said you were handsome?" Arthur glared at Lancelot with the darkest of looks.

Elyan joined in since it was his sister who Lancelot spoke with a slight dreamy look to his face and he really didn't want to put off another suitor for his sister's hand. It is only because it was the Prince of all Camelot that was courting his sister that prevented him from punching Arthur after all.

"I think we need to focus on who should be protecting Merlin," Leon said calmly, "how about I do it and therefore all of you can fight this latest evil?"

"Hell, no, Merlin is my best friend," Lancelot, Gwaine, and Arthur all snapped.

"He is not your best friend," Arthur hissed.

"Well he certainly isn't yours!" Gwaine snarled back.

"Guys need I remind you that Merlin is dying this very second while you're bickering like little children," Leon sighed as he wondered why he was the one that had to act all responsible and mature.

He needed a very long holiday having to put up with this for not only for a very long week but just as the world may possibly be ending.

He was promptly ignored as Lancelot jumped in. "He isn't yours either! He's my best friend!"

They exploded into a loud shouting match while Percival, Elyan, and Leon decided to play poker to pass the time.

Merlin, however, was struggling to move his lips so he could curse his so called best friends with every curse word he can think of and then some. Here he was dying and all they can be bothered to do was tie him to a horse before starting to argue over who gets to ride it with him.

Urgh the stupid idiots why on earth did destiny decide to dump him with this lot?

The others were no help either. Well this was it, this was the last straw, he was no longer going to help them with anything in the future...though that will probably be because he would be _dead _by then but still!

"He is my best friend!"

"No he's _my_ best friend!"

"Your best friend is your hair! He's my best friend and I will be the one protecting him from the cold grim arms of death!"

"You utter pansy Lancelot," Gwaine sniggered.

"Sadly I have to agree with him," Arthur snickered, "And he's my best friend even though I can't protect him right now."

"Well that just makes you rather useless, doesn't it Princess?"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?"

"YOU HEARD ME _PRINCESS_!"

"PRINCESS? _ME?_ I'M NOT THE ONE WHO STARES AT THE MIRROR AND BRUSHES MY HAIR LIKE MORGANA USED TO!"

"OH NO YOU _DIDN'T_!"

"OH YES I _DID_!"

"WELL THERE'S ONLY ONE THING FOR IT!"

"What's that?" Arthur asked bewildered finally quietening down.

"Fight to the death!" Gwaine declared dramatically. "Winner gets Merlin, loser is a total princess."

"Fine!" Arthur spat out.

The pair of them suddenly started to struggle as they attempted to take of their armour. "What are you two doing?" Leon asked exasperated.

"We're going to fight half naked to impress the girls," Gwaine said cheerfully beneath his chainmail.

"What girls?" Elyan muttered.

"I think he means Merlin," Percival said.

"Oh," Elyan's eyes widened with realisation, "yeah he's a total girl."

"And Lancelot has run off with him again," Leon observed.

"HE _WHAT?_!" both Gwaine and Arthur roared from under their chainmail. They both struggled to pull their armour back on and by the time they managed all they could see was a speck of bright red as Lancelot galloped away on the horse that was carrying Merlin. "NOT AGAIN THAT BASTARD!" they bellowed simultaneously.

"Next time I see Lancelot I'm going to punch him," Gwaine swore passionately as he waved a fist in the air.

"I'll put him in the stocks and then make him do all of Merlin's chores, and use him as a target in training and then..." Arthur continued to mutter under his breath.

"I'm sure Merlin will appreciate the holiday," Leon muttered to Elyan and Percival.

"When can I have one?" Elyan whispered back.

The three sighed heavily as they followed the ranting prince and Gwaine reluctantly. They all wished they pulled a Lancelot and escaped this hell hole of a quest before they ended up murdered. Or killed Arthur and Gwaine. Or each other. Any option was more appealing than suffering the bickering of two of the biggest idiots in Camelot.

They all agreed to kill Lancelot the next time they saw him after that cave incident.


End file.
